(DRUMROLL)
(ROUSING ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
(FANFARE ENDS)
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(LAUGHING)
(♪ ♪)
(FEEDBACK SCREECHING)
(PANTING)
(SPANISH GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS) (CHILDREN SHOUTING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH IN BACKGROUND)
(INDISTINCT WHISPERS IN DISTANCE)
(CLUCKING)
Ahí está.
MAN: Uh, what about
"The Big One only gets bigger"?
"Everyone wants a Big One."
I got a big one.
(ALL LAUGHING) Sorry.
How about just, like,
"Eat me"?
(ALL LAUGHING)
Okay, okay, so there's no shortage of future slogans.
Phil, what have you got?
Well, um, same-store sales are up 8.4% this quarter,
which is just amazing,
and the increase extends across every demographic.
It's tweens, heavy users, minivan dads,
even seniors.
So clearly,
the Big One is not only a big hit,
it is quickly becoming the flagship of our brand.
Which we'll be building on,
both in the upcoming second half of our campaign
and in merchandising. Terrific.
Don, what about those Little Big Ones?
Well, uh, last week, you know,
we did a pretty extensive focus group
with, uh, some of the kids
from Martin Luther King Elementary. Yeah?
And it went great.
Tested 91% in the top three boxes.
They loved 'em.
What is it now?
Eight to a bag?
No, no, no, you're thinking about the Itty-Bitties.
Oh. No, no.
We figure three Little Big Ones
for each kids' meal is gonna work out about right.
But we want to do
a little more testing on that as well.
How about Disney?
No word yet.
Also, the PBS deal
doesn't seem to be happening.
Uh, apparently, Burger King and McDonald's
have the Teletubbies all locked up.
Fuck 'em.
That's wonderful.
Yeah, you like that?
That's the barbecue Big One.
Wow.
Tastes like it's right off the grill.
You don't think it needs, like, liquid smoke or any other kind
of flavorings? No.
No, no, no, I think it's perfect.
Let's test that. Okay.
Try this one.
I don't know.
Yeah, I mean these Caribbean seasonings are kind of tricky.
Well, we're calling them Calypso Chicken Tenders.
I-I-I think people are going to have an expectation for a...
maybe a touch of lime.
Oh, well, lime. L-Lime's easy.
I just held back on the Terpinoline on this
to keep the flavoring subtle,
but I can always go back
and add more. Yeah, why don't you try that?
I'll keep working on it.
JACK: Okay, I really enjoyed it.
You were wonderful.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Ah, look, I got to go.
I'll talk to you later. Yeah, bye.
Thanks, Louise.
Donny Boy... have a seat.
Thanks for stopping by.
So, what do you think of everything?
It's good, good.
I'm glad to see the Big One doing so well.
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY)
Listen, you ever run into a guy named Harry Rydell?
Executive VP out of the Chicago office?
I don't think so.
He works closely with our suppliers.
A little too closely,
if you ask me.
What do you mean?
I have a friend that teaches food science over at A&M.
Microbiology.
And this semester, a couple of his grad students decided
to culture some patties
from a bunch of fast food chains.
Uh-huh. Well...
(SIGHS)
They got ahold of a couple Big Ones.
The frozen patties.
Don't ask me how.
And the fecal coliform counts were just off the charts.
I'm concerned that this could be a problem for us.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Not exactly.
I'm saying there's shit in the meat.
(♪ ♪)
"The drawbridge was down.
"The great gate stood wide.
"I entered without challenge,
my own heels making the only sounds I heard."
Keep going.
No.
It's bedtime.
Just one more.
Please?
No, that's it.
Hey...
(KISS) Good night, Stevie.
Hey.
I think I may have to miss
your history exhibit on Thursday.
Why?
Well, you know how Daddy has to go out of town
for work every now and then.
Yeah, but I thought you didn't have to...
Well, not as much, but I gotta go to Colorado
for a couple of days, all right?
I'll be home for the weekend, though.
Okay.
Love you guys.
Too much E coli and stuff.
REPORTER: Suspect is now on foot, fleeing...
People could get sick.
Is that the one that can kill kids?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I mean, nobody's gotten sick or anything.
But Jack says
too much cow manure is somehow getting into the meat.
That's disgusting.
That's my new job.
Same office.
Still dealing with bullshit.
WOMAN: Well, I guess it is a marketing issue after all.
If the kids die from eating your burgers,
it makes them much harder to sell.
That's right. Marketing 101.
Don't kill the customer.
Bad for repeat business.
(LAUGHS)
(PANICKED SHOUTING)
Coco?
(HORN HONKING)
Coco?
(♪ ♪)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hi.
No.
I sent that form in. I paid it.
Mira, you tell that coach and that whole fucking league,
if he doesn't play, I'm gonna kick all their asses.
Sí. Yeah, yeah.
I just did a pick-up. I-I'll talk to you later.
(SPANISH GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
(♪ ♪)
(PANTING)
(CHOKES)
(♪ ♪)
(MOOING)
(MOOING CONTINUES)
(SIGHS)
(♪ ♪)
(TURNS ENGINE OFF)
(SOCCER ANNOUNCER SPEAKING SPANISH ON TV)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
WOMAN: No.
Sí. Sí. Sí.
(EROTIC MOANS ON TV)
WOMAN ♪1: Oh, God, yeah.
WOMAN ♪2: Yeah, you like the way that feels?
(WOMEN MOANING)
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, that's right, bitch.
(BOTH CONTINUE MOANING)
You like it when I pull your hair?
Yes. Yes, pull my hair.
Oh! That's right, slut.
Oh. Oh, I love it when you call me slut.
Let's go, stand up.
Yo, stand up.
Come on, stand up.
Hey!
Stand up.
The fuck you doing?
Fucking people on vacation.
Go.
(KISSING)
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES) (DOOR OPENS)
Hang on a second.
Welcome to Mickey's. Can I take your order?
Yeah. I'm thinking about...
a Big One. Okay.
Would you like some large fries with that?
No, no, thanks. Not tonight.
Our super-value drink?
I'll have a chocolate shake and a water.
All right. (REGISTER BEEPS)
Would you like any dessert with that?
A brownie pie or a turnover?
No, not tonight. Okay.
(REGISTER BEEPING) Uh, that'll be $4.98.
Okay. Here you go. (REGISTER OPENING)
(REGISTER CLOSING)
So what's your favorite thing on the menu?
I like everything.
Well, I know that's not true. (LAUGHING)
But you did give me the correct answer.
I was just testing you.
I'm actually a vice president of marketing for Mickey's.
Really? Yeah. It's true.
Just here in town for a couple of days
seeing where the Big Ones come from.
Here?
Oh, no, not here.
But at Uniglobe Meat Packing, just outside of town.
That's where every single Big One patty
in the entire country gets made.
No way!
Yeah...
It's amazing.
Wow.
(MUMBLING): Lettuce.
Pickles.
Pickles and cheese.
Special... (SQUIRTS)
Think I burned the meat.
Amber!
Order up.
There you go.
Okay, thank you. What's your name?
Amber.
Right.
Don Anderson.
It's nice to meet you. You, too.
Maybe I'll see you around.
All right. I'm always here.
(GIGGLES)
Brian, can I get a coffee freezer?
(♪ ♪)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Que si, que esta bien que los lleves.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(SPRAYERS WHOOSHING)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
(BEEPING)
Amber, hon, electric is $131 for last month.
Mom, I got to pay my car insurance.
Well, anything helps.
So how's your day looking?
I have band practice after school and work at 6:00.
Well, don't let 'em keep you past 10:00.
I'll try to get out of there.
Tony's been pretty cool about letting me out early.
(BLOWING)
Good.
(ENGINE SPUTTERS, THEN TURNS)
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Hey.
Hey, Amber.
Hi, Clayton.
Hola. Hola.
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
(♪ ♪)
MAN: And right over here, Don,
we mix our product with a low-fat product
from about a half a dozen other plants.
(♪ ♪)
We're liquefying gas in a cylinder.
Takes 'em down to 40 degrees below zero.
DON: Wow.
That's a lot of Big Ones.
Yeah.
Well, somewhere in Kansas City,
someone will be eating these tomorrow night.
NARRATOR: ...it can be used to explain
how accidents happen to other people.
But accidents don't just happen to other people.
Accident prevention is each individual's responsibility.
This program is designed to make you think more
about accident causes and how you can prevent injuries.
If you eliminate the cause of accidents,
you're on your way to an accident-free workplace
and lifetime.
Safety works in your home, also. It works when you're...
Yo.
You heard about the robbery last night?
No. Where?
The McDonald's over on Cayenne.
They came in at closing time and put everyone in the basement.
Said they'd got shot if they came out
and boomed $6,000.
No way. Yeah.
$6,000 in cash.
In cash? Hells, yeah.
How many times you seen somebody
buy their McNuggets with a credit card?
Good point.
You know, they said it was the third fast food place
in Cody to get robbed in the last few weeks.
They hit Fuddruckers on Thursday night.
We're probably next.
All the more reason for you guys to quit.
I mean, why do you even work there?
Not all of us can get hired at the Banana Republic.
Oh. What the fuck you all doing in my truck?
COCO:
SYLVIA:
Mike.
Yeah, the Big One's been great.
Really great.
Sales keep creeping up.
There's been no drop-offs.
That's what we're hearing.
Listen, I've had this location 12 years. Yeah.
And, uh, you'd have to go way back.
Maybe even to the original
Teeny-Weenie's promotion to see anything like this.
You guys hit a home run.
Well, hey, we all did.
Definitely.
Hey, Tony, have you ever, um, ever been out to UMP plant?
Uh, no, I haven't.
Been hearing some mixed things about the place.
I've heard all sorts of nasty stuff goes on there.
You have?
Like what?
I don't know, um, just have a friend who used to work there.
And, uh, he used to tell me all sorts of things.
Did you know that's where the Big Ones come from?
Well, this was a long time back, I mean...
Look, my friend could have been full of shit.
Yeah, 'cause I was out there, I mean, the place is...
It's spotless.
Yeah? Oh, yeah.
It's hi-tech, state of the art stuff.
Stainless steel everywhere, people wearing gloves
and clean white coats, I mean... (CLUCKS TONGUE)
Yeah, might be a lot different now.
So, um... the friend, you think, I might
be able to give him a call?
I don't know, he split a long time ago.
I mean, I haven't really talked to him.
You know, my wife's got an uncle,
he can tell you all about that place.
Does he work out there?
Oh, no, no, he used to sell them cattle.
But he's a real character, you know.
Been on the ranch a little too long.
You think he'd talk to me?
Oh, he'll talk to you.
Might scare you, though. He's a little intense.
Let me give you his number.
His name is Rudy.
(MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
(WOMAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
Hey. Hey!
What the fuck are you doing?
The fuck?
Are you fucking retarded?
Say it. "Grade A." Say it.
Grade A.
Thank you. I fucking know you understand me.
You people act like I'm a fucking retard.
Sí. Get back to work.
Coco.
(SPANISH-LANGUAGE HIP-HOP PLAYING) (WOMAN MOANING)
(BOTH MOANING)
Yeah, like that, like that.
Like that, like that...
Fucking...
(GRUNTS)
(COCO MOANING)
(MIKE GRUNTING)
You know, if that safe at McDonald's
was holding six grand, Tony must have at least five or six
locked away in there.
Maybe more.
Think he goes to the bank every day?
That's a good question.
Tim says that over where he works,
that they don't even have a safe.
That's 'cause nobody ever eats there, man.
Chicken fajita I had the other night
was some slimy shit.
Yeah, well, there's a reason why it only costs 99 cents.
There may be five or six grand
in Tony's safe every night
just sitting in there, while we're out here
getting paid dick to mess with this shit.
Yeah, no kidding.
And Tony's a real prick, too, you know?
I always catch him checking out Amber's ass.
He's, like, five times her age.
Hey, the cops...
must have these places totally staked out at night.
(WHISPERING): 'Cause they're just waitin' for another robbery.
The best time to do it
would be first thing in the morning
around opening time.
Okay. Here's how it goes down.
We come in here first thing in the morning.
Uh-huh. It's still dark, no traffic.
Everybody's feeling calm and sleepy.
(IMITATES COCKING GUN)
We'll be takin' this order to go, motherfucker.
If you've got the balls, bitch.
(IMITATES GUNSHOT)
DON: Well, later today, I'm supposed
to go out to some ranch; Maybe that'll
be worth something. I don't know.
Well, I'm meeting with Harry on Friday.
(TV PLAYING LOW)
So I should be back on Saturday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pu-put him on.
NARRATOR: ...forget the animal advocates, but the disease that spreads...
Who's this?
Hello, Stevie.
(KNOCKING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(DOOR BEEPS)
Couple of guys invited me to a party at the U on Saturday night.
You want to come?
Do they know you go to Cody?
For some reason, they think
I'm a freshman in college.
(LAUGHING): Oh, I wonder why?
One of them is really hot.
Oh... I gotta work that night.
You work way too much.
(♪ ♪)
You the one that called?
Yeah, hi there. I'm Don.
Climb on over.
RUDY: Ever been out here before? Nope.
It's beautiful.
You ever been on a ranch before?
Yeah. When I was a kid.
At camp.
DON: How, uh, how many acres do you have, Rudy?
Well, you wouldn't want to have to walk
your way out of here, that's for sure.
Come on up and meet my new neighbors.
Oh... no.
Aw, jeez.
When did all this happen? The last couple of years.
Local ranchers lost control of the land.
The banks took it and sold it
to real estate speculators.
What the hell happened over there?
Meth freaks.
Out here?
They find a quiet, little place,
start cooking till something blows up
or burns down. Wow.
Past year and a half,
I've had two bodies dumped on my land.
Dead bodies?
One of 'em was rolled up in this nice-looking carpet.
Scared the shit out of my foreman.
They've dumped dead dogs and cats
and all other sorts of garbage on my land.
Seems like I spend half my time just
defending the place.
I gotta go to court next week
to fight off some private corporation
from Denver that wants to build a toll road across my land.
Eminent domain, my ass.
They've got another word for it:
Robbery.
You want to open that up for me?
You should get a clicker.
(LAUGHS)
Hey, Rudy?
You know anybody over at Uniglobe Meat Packing?
Sure.
What do you think of 'em?
I think they're a fine bunch.
Really?
They'll slit your throat for a nickel.
Nothing personal,
they just want the extra nickel.
Well, who do you know over there?
I know all of them.
I sold cattle to them
for years. Oh.
More important, I know their type.
They are the meanest, toughest sons of bitches,
and they're proud of it.
But that's nothing new.
My granddad went up against the meatpackers
in 1919.
Testified in Congress about their price-fixing.
And after that, none of 'em would buy his cattle.
UMP and all the rest tried to run him out of the business.
Okay, but that was a long time ago. Yeah.
And the big packers are even worse today.
They're even bigger today.
Really? And meaner.
Hell, ol' Dwight D. Eisenhower would've shut 'em down.
He wouldn't have stood for their crap.
Do you think they would knowingly sell us contaminated meat?
Oh, come on.
Workers are getting their arms cut off over there.
You don't know who you're dealing with.
No, no, I don't. Please help me.
I... I was at the plant, it seemed clean to me.
They show you the kill floor?
I don't know. I saw a lot of things.
You'd remember.
You see any cattle getting their heads cut off?
Were you walking ankle-deep in blood?
(CHUCKLES)
No.
So they didn't show you a damn thing.
Okay, but how...
how would cow manure get into the meat?
Rita?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
No, no, thanks, I'm fine. You sure?
Yes, thank you. I'll have some.
Hey, Rita, is your brother still working over at UMP?
How's he doing?
Oh, he has a good job now.
He's a supervisor in trim.
Mr. Anderson here would like to know
if the meat over there is clean.
(LAUGHS)
He wants to know how cow manure
could ever possibly wind up in his hamburger.
Well, there's lots of ways.
My brother used to work at the gut table, and, you know,
they have to pull out the intestines and the stomachs.
And they just don't have enough time
to do it right.
The line is moving too fast,
so when they're pulling the guts out
and they make a mistake,
all the poop and stuff just pours out
all... all over the meat.
Okay, okay, okay, all right.
But really, how often does that happen?
Every day.
We got any cookies back there?
I'll bring a plate of them.
Anything else you want to know?
No, no, that's, uh, plenty, thanks.
This isn't about good people versus bad people.
It's about the machine that's taking over this country.
It's like something out of science fiction.
The land, the cattle, human beings.
This machine don't give a shit.
Pennies a pound, pennies a pound.
That's all it cares about.
A few more pennies a pound.
Sounds pretty bleak.
By the way, Don,
you seem like a nice fellow.
But the food your company sells is crap.
Total crap.
Even when there isn't manure in it.
(CIGARETTE LIGHTER CLICKING)
(SPANISH HIP-HOP SONG PLAYS)
(♪ ♪)
Eh?
Está.
Eh...
Sí.
Bueno...
(SQUEAKS)
(SHRIEKING)
(WHIMPERING)
(SHRIEKING CONTINUES)
(WHIMPERS)
Andale.
(LAUGHS)
MAN: Thank God old Mr. Nathan come in.
He took one look at me, he said, "Harry, you are the"
"scariest fucking clown I've ever seen.
Take that off immediately."
That was that.
I came about that close to becoming the first Mickey,
which would have been a disaster
because I'd have probably killed somebody.
What do you think?
I know it's not Mickey's,
but it's good, right? Good burger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's-it's great.
Harry, what's going on out at UMP?
Beg pardon?
Yeah, what's really going on out there with the meat?
You're supposed to be our conduit to that place.
They didn't give you the tour?
Yeah, yeah.
Who took you through there?
Uh, Terry.
Oh, boy.
No, no, no,
he was... Listen, he was great. He was fine.
I just... I've been talking to a lot of people around town
and I've been hearing some bad things about that plant.
Kind of things
they don't show you on the tour.
Sounds like they might be running the production line
too fast, you know? Hmm.
People are getting hurt out there every day.
They're getting cut up.
One guy lost his entire arm.
These poor Mexicans, they come over here
and UMP treats 'em like shit.
And the meat, I gotta tell you something, Harry,
the meat is filthy.
Do you know they got untrained people working
at the gut table?
Really? The gut table?
Yeah. I mean,
Harry, there's shit in our meat.
WOMAN: Harry!
Hi!
Hey.
I heard you were here today.
How are you doing, huh?
I can't complain.
Good. Lisa, I want you to meet Don Anderson.
He just came to the company from CNN.
Hmm! ESPN, actually.
Don is the inventor of the Big One. Really?
No, my, my team came up with the name.
You're just being humble.
It's pure genius, Don.
Good name for a burger, isn't it?
Sure is.
It's very nice to meet you.
Can I get you another Fat Tire?
I would love another Fat Tire.
You want a beer, Don?
No, thanks.
Just one? Just one?
Hey...
Mm!
You know, I think there might be a little bit of shit
right here in this meat.
Just a teeny little bit. Microscopic.
Your tests say that the meat we're getting from UMP is clean.
It's not. I've seen independent tests that say
that it's not.
There's always been a little shit in the meat.
You probably been eating it your whole life.
Yeah. Well, I'd prefer not to, Harry.
Well, I don't know who you've been talking to, Don.
But there is absolutely nothing illegal going on here,
okay?
Meat is supposed to be cooked,
and the grills at Mickey's are calibrated carefully
to make sure it kills every little bit
of the bad stuff that's in there.
Yeah, that might be kinda tough to explain to our customers.
Explain what?
Listen, there is cow shit in our meat
because we're running the line too fast.
Just cook it. That's all you need to do.
You see, this is one of the things that's just bugging me
about this country.
Really bugging me.
Americans have become these, these, these great big
fraidy cats, afraid of everything.
Everything got to be sterile and germ-free.
Well, everybody needs to grow up!
That's what they need.
You want to be safe, huh?
Perfectly safe?
Well, forget about it.
That's not gonna happen, okay?
Everybody just needs to get that through their heads.
Just cook the meat and you'll be fine.
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
I mean, you've known all about this?
I'm shocked.
Donny boy, you just got to try and step back
and look at the big picture.
40,000 people die in automobile accidents every year.
Does that mean Detroit should stop making cars?
Does it? Of course not.
(SIGHS)
You ever been down to Mexico?
What's that have to do with anything?
It's beautiful down there.
Really beautiful, great beaches, gorgeous,
but poor, poor...
poorest fucking place I've ever been, I think.
Guy down there makes three, maybe four dollars a day.
A day, Don.
Now, that same guy,
he comes up here, he gets a job working for UMP
making ten dollars an hour.
That's more money in one day than he makes back home
in a whole month.
So, frankly, I don't see the problem.
What he's making, these people come up here, right?
Nobody's telling 'em to come work for UMP.
Okay, okay, but that's not the point.
And you know what?
I admire these people, okay?
I really do.
They're hard workers.
They're working hard
and they're trying to improve their lives, okay?
Now, isn't that what our ancestors did?
Isn't that what made this country
the great country that it is today, huh?
And you want to try and stop 'em?
You want to tell 'em that you know what's best for 'em?
Most people don't like to be told what's best for 'em.
Well, what's going on at UMP's unacceptable,
and I'm gonna have to tell Jack about all this.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, gonna tell Jack, huh?
I've been working for this company almost 30 years.
Hell, I grew up right down the street from the Nathan's
when we were all back in Muncie.
So here's my little piece of friendly advice
to you, Donny boy.
I'd be careful how close I got to Jack.
See, your boy Jack is about this close to getting his tit
caught in the wringer.
He's under investigation,
okay?
Cooking the books,
padding his expense account.
Not to mention boning his own secretary, okay,
and that is not the kind of company
that we want to run. Louise?
That's right.
Your buddy Jack's got two,
maybe three months before he's out the door.
Could be sooner.
He's sleeping with Louise?
And you know what, Don?
You should be thanking me,
instead of doing all this complaining.
I negotiated a hell of a good price
with UMP, okay?
I negotiated a great price for your fuckin' meat.
Hell, if it weren't for me,
there wouldn't be no Big One, Don.
I'd like to see you go and find a supplier that will sell you
grade-A chuck at 40 cents a pound.
I'd like to see that.
H-Have you ever met Louise?
Have I ever met her?
20 years ago I gave her that job.
She was a good-looking woman
back then, too. (SIGHS)
It is a sad fact of life, Don,
but the truth is we all have to eat a little shit
from time to time.
But just for the record, I want you to know
I'm with you on this, okay?
I really am.
I'm gonna go down there.
I'm gonna see what the hell's going on.
If I have to, I'm gonna kick some ass.
You know what, Harry?
I don't think that's gonna be good enough.
You seem like a real bright guy, Don.
Hate to see you get caught up in something
you couldn't get out of.
Give it some thought.
Why don't you take some of these fries home with you?
I'm not gonna finish 'em.
(SIGHS)
No.
No, it's not that simple.
There is something definitely weird
going on between Jack and Harry,
and either way I can lose this job.
Either way.
(SIGHS)
No. No, we're not gonna move again... that's...
that's not gonna happen.
Well, just tell Jay to wait a moment.
This is important.
Well, have him wait!
(SIGHS)
Yeah.
I'll... I'll talk to you later.
No, no. Look, Jack, it's going great.
I, uh... I've been out to the plant,
I spoke to some workers.
I-I even tracked down this... this old rancher who's...
dealt with these guys for years, so...
There's a lot of things, but...
Yeah, yeah, no, of course I met with Harry.
Yeah, he's-he's a...
interesting guy... You were right.
But I-I don't think that he's...
a crook.
Well, I don't know.
All right.
Then, uh...
I would probably recommend we do...
some additional testing in the near future...
see what that shows.
Yeah.
Will you be keeping this on your American Express?
Sure. I have
three pay-per-view movies at $7.95 each. Uh-huh.
Would you like to join our Executive Guest Advantage Program? No.
Did you enjoy your stay with us?
Not really. Were you here on business or pleasure?
Business.
Is there anything we can do in the future
to make your stay with us more enjoyable?
You can give me my bill.
Bye-bye, Mr. Anderson. Have a great day.
(♪ ♪)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Thanks a lot.
Hi.
Have you guys decided on anything?
Uh, two Chinese chicken salad, please,
y two Coca-Colas, please.
Anything to start?
Okay. Uh, I'll be right back with those... Cokes.
Oh.
Thanks.
Ah.
(TYPING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Hey.
How was Roger?
♪ Roger is the boringest person ♪
(BOTH LAUGHING) ♪ I have ever met... ♪
Ooh, sorry.
What are you up to?
Um, I'm writing a biology paper.
Oh, what's it about?
History of genetics.
Mendel, that sort of thing.
When's it due?
Tuesday.
Next week.
Yeah. I just have a bunch of stuff due before then.
Where did you come from?
I was never this good,
and your father, he was
a lazy asshole.
Mom!
What? He had other people write his papers for him.
Mm. I bet you were one of them. Hmm.
Screw you. Hey!
(LAUGHTER)
(HAPPY SIGH)
We got a new shipment of puppies today.
I want to take them all home.
Don't. Mom...
Well, it's sad... Loretta said that they just
make those cages big enough to be legal
but small enough so people will get the puppies out of there.
When I left the store tonight,
I just wanted to open all those cages
and let all those little puppies run free!
Mom...
They are so cute.
Mom, I'm trying to work.
Okay.
But you have to come and see them tomorrow.
(TYPING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING): Too slow, Amber, too slow.
Take it easy!
Go to bed!
Mm!
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING, PANTING)
(LAUGHING)
(CHILDREN SPEAKING SPANISH)
COCO:
SYLVIA:
Hola. Hey.
It's me.
Mm...
Call me, ¿sí?
(SNIFFLES)
...having a problem...
Uncle Pete! Hi! Hey!
Oh, God!
What is with these uniforms? Sorry, Pete.
We have jobs.
No, no, somebody put a blanket on her, okay? All right?
I cannot believe my beautiful Amber
is in a damn Mickey's uniform.
No, I can't look at you
in that thing. Sorry, Pete, that's what you wear
when you have a real job. You smell like chicken nuggets.
(GASPS) Okay? You do.
She has a job! Yeah, well...
Give me a break! All right, all right, well,
except for the uniform... Let's see...
You're dumb.
You look great.
You do... you look fantastic.
Thank you. It's great to see you.
Good to see you.
All right. How long are you here for?
Oh, just for the night... I'm on my way up to Bozeman.
No, don't... I don't think I can talk to you in that thing.
I really d... Leave her alone!
Honey, you got some homework?
Oh, not much. Okay, why don't you
get it done, change your clothes and go out with Uncle Pete?
'Cause I have a date I can't break.
Had I known you were coming...
What, you would've changed your plans?
Mm, no. Mm-hmm.
How's Gabe? He's great.
He's walking and talking.
Hey, how's Michelle?
Mm...
Is that Mrs. Whiskers?
(LAUGHING)
Check him out, check him out.
Oh, he's so big.
Right?
Here.
No, hey! Oh!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
Man, this place is great. Mmm...
Yeah. You are only allowed to come here with me.
So, are you on the pill?
Um, no.
No? All right. Do you have a boyfriend?
Not really.
I'm kind of in between. Mm-hmm.
Well, they are circling you like sharks.
All right, I don't want to come back here
and find that you got, like, a little baby fry cook
in the oven. (GROANS): You know what?
What? I remember you taking me to Mickey's when
I was a kid. No.
Yes. Did I? All right, I was just being lazy.
I apologize, all right? Now I hate everything about the place.
Mom said it was a big deal when the first Mickey's opened here.
(SARCASTICALLY): Oh, it was tremendous!
Nah, it was... I mean, you know...
Cody was on the map.
The-the-the first one didn't bother me.
It was just the 400th that started to, you know, get under my skin.
Well, I need the money.
Do you? I really do.
Hmm, there's no other jobs, right?
You tried ASPCA? You tried the Park Services?
You tried day care, right?
Nobody around here needs their kids to be taken care of?
(SIGHS)
It was the first job I could find. Uh-huh.
I mean, a friend of mine worked there.
What do you want to hear?
I'm not criticizing you.
All right? I think you are great.
I just want to know your timeline for getting out of here.
I want to go to college.
Good.
I'm thinking Oregon
or Montana.
Hmm, what you gonna study?
I don't know. I want to...
I want to write.
I like photography.
But I think
I want to study science and... aeronautical engineering.
Aeronautical engineering? Yeah.
I mean, if I could do anything in the world,
I'd be an astronaut.
All right, well, fucking-A do it.
Okay. Okay, but you need
to get out of here to do that.
Was it hard leaving Cody back when you were a teenager?
No. Not for me.
Your mom, though, that was a different story.
I was on the way.
That cuts down on your options.
Mm-hmm, that is why, if by the age of 21, you have not
missed one menstrual cycle,
I will give you $1,000.
Will you shut up? Okay?
I am not talking to my uncle about sex.
Okay. I read this study the other day about, uh...
people who are happiest with their lives.
And the ones who have followed their passion, right...
Even if they weren't, you know,
technically successful, all right...
When they were looking back at their life,
they had fewer regrets.
You know, they felt their life had been more fulfilling.
Yeah. That makes sense, I guess.
Yeah, it does.
So bottom line is do not listen to me.
Do not listen to your mother.
Listen to yourself.
I mean, if you want to be like everybody else,
just do what everybody's telling you to do.
And what about you?
Are you doing what you always wanted to do?
Well, if I jump back to when I was your age,
no, I don't think I would be wildly impressed.
All right? I don't. I...
But, you know, I'm all right with what I'm doing.
And, you know, I'm really all right with what I'm not doing.
Is that your move?
Yeah.
Fuh-bop!
Dang it.
Yeah. So...
Hello.
Amber, why are you still up?
Well, why do you have my poncho on?
It's fine.
How was it, hmm?
(SIGHS)
Well, she's home fairly early, if that signifies anything.
Oh, no, no, no. It doesn't mean anything.
Your mother...
She's amazing.
You wouldn't believe what she could get accomplished
in a short period of time.
She's... Screw you both.
(GASPS)
Hey, Sis. Sis?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey!
So what would you say?
Is Cody a better town today,
or back when we were kids?
Well, I know what you would say.
What?
Your uncle hates everything, Amber.
You know, I actually think it's better now.
There's more stuff to do.
Oh, yeah. There's more to do.
You got Wal-Mart, the Kmart, and the Target, right?
I mean, you got Chuck E. Cheese, you got Taco Bell, you got
Arby's, you got
Mickey's, you got Denny's,
you've got, uh, Chili's, you
got Applebee's, you got Wendy's,
you got Hardee's. Right? You got
the KFC,
the IHOP. (SCREAMS)
Do they still have that Der Weinerschnitzel?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, thank God it's still hanging in there! You know?
I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I could just piss away
a whole Sunday afternoon at the Sunglass Hut.
You know, spend the whole... Oh! Have you ever been to the Sunglass Hut?
No. I never have. I'm not trying to come off
like some Polly Perfect here, all right?
I mean, I'm going to make some cabinets
for some rich New York investment banker fuck
who probably spends two weeks a year at his Montana ranch,
so don't listen to me.
Oh, I'm not. I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to your daughter, and I'm probably just going through
some full-of-shit, early-middle-age period.
I don't think you're full of shit.
Thank you. Thank you. She's so nice.
What happened to you?
No, no, no, sweetheart.
Don't contradict your mother.
He is full of shit. Uh-huh.
Look, I don't waste a lot of time
thinking about this stuff. Oh...
Democrats, Republicans...
They're all crooks.
This is why revolutions are meant for the young.
If you don't do it now, you're never gonna.
Uniform, uniformity. Conform, conformity.
Monogamy, monotony.
No wonder you're not still married.
Hey. Stupid, stupidity.
Yeah, look. Hey, the facts are not always friendly.
Listen to who's giving the lecture here, Amber.
Your uncle did not finish college.
Jesus! Okay!
Oh!
He lived in a camper
for 18 months.
An Airstream!
This is not a role model.
Remind me to deprogram you after he leaves.
Hey, Mom said you got kicked out of college.
Oh, well, thanks, Mom.
Yeah. Your mug shots were in all the papers!
Yeah, with eight others, all right?
I was at Colorado University, right?
We were the CU Nine.
Yeah, that notorious band
of Midwestern white freedom fighters! Don't...
Look. No, no, no, no, no. We took over
the chancellor's office, all right? We were protesting
the college's investment in South Africa.
So what happened?
All right. Well, so after about four hours,
they come bursting through this barricade that we built...
Okay, that was two chalkboards.
It's not two chalkboards, all right? It was, too!
We had a bunch of rope with some chairs...
Look, they practically beat the shit out of all of us, all right?
They treated us like a band of terrorists.
You got your little ass kicked out of college,
which he never finished... Big deal.
And it cost our dad $2,000 in legal fees.
Which I eventually paid him back.
Anyway, meanwhile, cut to...
About a year later, the college divests
all its holdings in South Africa
and a little while after that, Nelson Mandela is a free man.
All because of the CU Nine... Nine... Nine!
No, nobody said that. Nobody even thought that.
All right? The point is that, you know,
if enough people start thinking about something,
and trying to actually do something,
you can change things for the better.
I believe that.
Well, I hope they can change for the better.
No, don't just hope. You know, you can't just sit back and hope.
You have to do something.
In a town like this, hope will kill you.
It's your move.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Ah...
Hey, hey, hey! You fucking crazy? Huh?
Everybody else, stop fucking smiling,
and get back to work!
Coco...
(COCO MOANING)
Coco?
She okay?
She needs
to start sleeping at night.
So do you.
How's Stan's back doing?
He complains about it all the time,
but he's fine.
Well, say hello for me.
As for this little lady,
she's got about an hour or so left on her shift,
so... She'll make it.
All right. Let's go.
Andale.
You've been a bad girl.
Chill out, okay?
Touch her again, and I'll kill you. Hmm?
I mean it.
(COCO SNORTING)
Think about it.
All that surveillance equipment they have here?
They say it's for our safety.
But those cameras are
pointed right at us.
Monitoring us.
Making sure we don't steal shit and stuff.
Yeah, you know, I always wonder
whose job it is to watch those monitors.
'Cause you don't see anyone around here doing that.
I think they just record everything,
in case something happens.
It's probably all getting fed back
to the national headquarters.
Yeah, like our cash registers.
What about them?
You don't know about that?
Uh-uh.
Oh, man. Okay.
First thing I do whenever I start my shift
is type in the last four digits of my social security number
then log in. Mm-hmm.
From then on, they keep track of every keystroke.
Really?
Yeah. They keep a record.
They know exactly how many orders of fries
I've sold this month, everything.
And I even have to put in
a little code with each person's order
saying their approximate age and ethnicity.
(LAUGHING)
They don't even know.
You know, that is fucking evil.
Well...
that's Mickey's for you.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
Man... when we came here, we sat right over there.
Was it, like, full?
Yeah, it was really full.
There was this band that played.
Pretty good. Yeah, hey, look, just ask.
Mm-hmm. Don't worry.
All right. Casual.
Got it.
Nothing...
Hi. Hi.
Were you here the other night?
Yeah.
Who was that guy that was with you?
Uh, my uncle?
Oh, my God.
(LAUGHTER)
We were trying to figure that one out.
He's hot, okay? Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
No, he's my uncle.
I'm Andrew, this is Alice.
I'm Amber. Kim.
Andrew. Kim? Nice to meet you.
You, too. Hey.
Well, um, we're all heading over to The Lookout for a party,
if you guys want to come.
The Lookout? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
You know that road behind campus.
You just take that up Mount Cody for, like, a mile.
It's right there. You know?
Oh! Right, yeah.
Should be fun.
All right, maybe we'll see you then.
Yeah. Make it out there?
Okay. See you there. All right.
(ROCK MUSIC BLARING)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
'Cause there is no way you can make sense of it all on your own.
The lies are too big, they're too ingenious,
they're too interconnected with one another,
and they know if the lies are repeated
over and over and over again,
people are finally gonna have to believe it.
And we do!
Yeah.
Like, have you guys read that book Crimes Against Nature?
ANDREW: Title says it all.
ALICE: Exactly.
Read that book.
It's talking about how, right now,
they've got the logging companies
and the timber companies chopping down all the trees
in the national forests,
but they're saying it's the "healthy forest" program.
Yep. And they got the coal companies
running our "clean air" plan.
ALICE: I mean,
how do they announce that stuff in public without cracking up?
I gotta hand it to them, though...
Genius fuckin' marketers.
And they're extremely well-organized,
so we need to be, too.
KIM: Amber!
ALICE: Yeah, and these guys see themselves
Come here! As big-time righteous Christians.
ANDREW: Well, what would Jesus do?
Hey.
What's going on?
I met these really cute guys.
They want to meet you.
Well... (SIGHS)
I'm hanging out with these guys.
They're so boring.
I don't want to leave just yet.
Why?
I don't know.
Don't worry about it.
I'll catch up with you later.
Hey, Brian. Hey.
What are you doing here?
(KNOCKING) Tony?
Hey, Amber.
Uh... Tony...
Yeah?
I don't think I can work here anymore.
Is everything okay?
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
What do you want to do?
You want to cut back on the hours?
Maybe try another shift?
No.
Did something happen?
Anybody giving you a hard time?
No.
What's up?
Talk to me.
I just... I can't work here anymore.
It feels wrong.
BRIAN: How is it wrong?
The job sucks, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.
Brian...
Listen, Amber, you're one of my best associates, okay?
We're starting to talk about you...
Management material.
Okay? You're about to turn 18 pretty soon.
We're expanding. We got a lot of opportunities here.
Look, think about this.
I just want to do something else.
Okay. I mean,
is something wrong with this place?
It kind of doesn't feel real.
I mean... it's not your fault.
It's just, this place is like a thousand other places.
I mean, they're all... it's identical. Right.
Okay, Amber, you want reality, you got it.
Good-bye.
Tony, I'm sorry; This has nothing to do with you.
I'm really disappointed, Amber.
Really disappointed.
Me, too.
I'm... sorry.
TONY: You can pick up your check next Thursday.
You want a coffee freezer for the road?
Okay.
(LOUD CLANK)
Oh... Oh! Oh!
(SCREAMING)
Francisco!
¡Corta la corriente!
(YELLING)
(YELLING IN SPANISH)
¡Rapido!
(ALARM BLARING)
Raul, hombre... ¿Que paso?
(GROANS)
Okay, no te muevas, no te muevas, ¿eh?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Sylvia...
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS)
Ah, Sylvia.
I'm Tom Watson,
Human Resources.
¿Como está?
How is he?
Oh, well, he's got a few cracked ribs,
a pretty bad concussion...
and he has a disc in his lower back that's hurt.
But that could've been a problem before the accident.
(TRANSLATOR SPEAKING SPANISH)
¿Va estar bien?
She says if he's going to be all right.
Oh, well, it's going to be real sore,
but, yeah, he's gonna be okay.
(TRANSLATOR SPEAKING SPANISH)
Now, look, I want you to tell her that I have
some unpleasant news that we need to discuss.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
¿Que pasa?
Raul tested positive for methamphetamine.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Uh... ¿Amphetamina?
TOM: It's an illegal drug.
It appears he was using drugs on the job.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
And this could've caused the accident.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
No les creo.
She says she doesn't
believe you.
WELL, TELL HER THIS: Tell her that UMP
is committed to a drug-free workplace
and if you break the rules, it endangers others.
Tell her that.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Pero Raul nunca ha usada drogas.
She says Raul has never used any drugs.
Well, look, I can show her the result of the blood test.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
No les creo.
She doesn't believe us.
I'm sorry about your husband.
(SNIFFLING)
(CRYING QUIETLY)
(♪ ♪)
The problem is, at this very moment,
there's about a hundred thousand cattle
in the UMP feedlot that's right outside of Cody.
It's one of the biggest feedlots in the world.
Each one of those cows
puts out 50 pounds of piss and shit every day.
Fifty pounds each.
ALICE: Lovely. Yeah, I know so,
that UMP feedlot produces more waste every single day,
than all of the people in, in Denver combined.
ALICE: That's gross. Yeah.
And the waste from UMP's feedlot it's not going to some hi-tech
treatment plant, you know.
It's being pumped into these lagoons
which are these just great big ponds of piss and shit
and these great big shit ponds are leaking shit
into Payton Creek,
which eventually ends up in the river.
I mean you should see it, UMP's cattle
they're all just crammed together,
living in their own manure,
eating this genetically engineered crap
that's being dumped into these concrete troughs for them.
It's like prison camps for cows.
You wouldn't believe it. You can smell it
like three miles away.
So Professor Cohen...
is going to help us coordinate a letter writing campaign.
Not only to the State Water Quality Board,
but to various editorial organizations, hopefully to...
Are you kidding me?
Excuse me?
You guys are going to write a letter.
That's company's the meanest fucking company
I've ever seen.
They treat their workers like shit,
they treat the animals like shit.
They're dumping tons of shit and piss
into our river, and you guys are going to write a letter?
Yes, Paco.
As an official warning,
to be followed by a campus wide boycott
of everything that comes out of that place.
The governor
got $200,000 from UMP
last year.
Kathy Crawford...
Head of the Environmental Committee in the State Senate...
...she's married to a UMP top exec.
And you guys are going to write a letter.
What a fucking waste of time.
Listen, you have got to start somewhere
in raising awareness.
This is bullshit,
this Environmental Policy Discussion Group.
Even our name sucks.
You just make this up so you can put it on
your grad school applications, Andrew?
Do you have a better idea, Gerald?
Excuse me. I'm sorry. Paco?
Fuck you, man.
Are you just here to be the self-righteous critic, man?
I don't know, man.
Action speaks louder.
I'm tired of nice people sitting around talking
and complaining while the bad guys
get to do whatever the fuck they want!
I want to see some action.
We all do, dude.
That's what we're doing here. Those Greenpeace dudes,
they put their asses on the line.
That's exactly what we should do.
You said that there's, like,
a hundred thousand cows, right?
Uh, roughly.
Well,
what if we cut the fence
and let them out?
Let them run free?
I mean, that, that might get some attention.
See? That's the kind of shit I'm talking about.
What's your name?
Amber.
Beautiful, Amber.
Well, think about it.
I mean, if you suddenly had thousands
and thousands of cows, you know, wandering free
wandering back to the prairie where they belong,
causing traffic jams, blocking the highway...
reminding people
that cows aren't supposed to be penned up and treated that way.
You know, that's a really good idea,
because then we could issue a press release with our demands
showing what a disaster that company is
and what we're gonna do next.
We, we can do all this.
I'm just, I'm warning you guys
that right now in this country,
any destruction of private property along these lines
can be considered in violation of the Patriot Act.
It can be considered an act of terrorism.
You can go to prison for, like ten years.
Yeah, that's a bunch of bullshit.
I know, I know.
We have entered a whole new era where they can search your house
without a warrant, they can, they can put you in jail
without a trial.
Eco-activists that have never harmed another human being
are considered by our government to be more of a threat
to national security than all these right-wing,
Timothy McVeigh militia types.
Well, right now, I can't think of anything more patriotic
than violating the Patriot Act.
(ELECTRONICA PLAYING IN DISTANCE)
(SHUTS OFF STEREO)
This industry's fucked.
There's rumors UMP's planning to sell the plant or shut us down.
They got plants all over the U.S.,
fucking Canada.
If the Cody plant don't start pulling its weight,
yeah, they'll shut us down.
Don't matter we been here 35 fucking years.
They don't give a fuck about Cody
and they sure as shit don't give a fuck about me.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(TONY GRUNTING)
(CATTLE LOWING)
(GRUNTS)
Jesus, fuck!
This is taking forever, man.
Always cut fences.
That's the golden rule.
That's good. Come on, buddies.
Come on, babies, run for it!
Let's go. Come on!
Let's go!
Watch you don't step in the shit.
Come on, babies, run for it!
Let's spread out. Guys, come on.
All right, let's get a move on. Come on.
Come on. Here you go.
Come on. Come on. Here you go!
Come on. This way. This way. Right there.
Come on. They're not doing anything.
Come on. This way!
Get 'em over here. Come on, baby, let's go.
Come on. Go out that way. Go out that way.
(CATTLE LOWING)
(MAKES KISSING SOUND)
Why won't they go?!
ANDREW: What the fuck is wrong with them?
PACO: Hey, get your asses in gear!
How stupid are they?
Show them there's a hole in the fence.
I don't think they can see it.
Come on. Lookit.
Look, there's no fence.
Run! Come on! No fence!
Come on! Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Over here. This way! No fence, you fucking morons!
Whoa! That motherfucker almost just gored me, man!
(CHUCKLES)
Don't you want to be free?
It's wide open! Go!
They're gonna kill you!
They're gonna kill every single one of you!
Car!
ALICE: Oh, shit!
Time to... Time to go!
Time to go.
Come on! Let's get out of here!
Come on, don't you want to be free?
Don't you want to be free?
ALICE: Come on! ANDREW: Amber!
ALICE: Come on, Amber!
PACO: Car's that way, Andrew.
Come on, Amber!
We gotta hit the road!
Let's go! (GROANS)
Move!
Come on! Come on!
Let's go!
(CATTLE LOWING)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
What a fuckin' fiasco.
Well, look, nobody got arrested. Nobody got hurt.
Yeah, and we learned something.
Yeah?
Don't try something unless you know
what the hell you're doing.
Next time we bring cattle prods.
That was our only mistake.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Paco, ace cattle rustler from New Jersey.
Fuck you!
At least we tried, man.
Better than sitting on our asses.
AMBER: I just don't understand.
I mean, why would they want to stay in there?
ALICE: Well, let's face it.
Cows aren't the brightest animals.
ANDREW: Who knows?
Maybe it's easier in there.
They get all the food they want.
I bet that genetically engineered shit
tastes a lot better than grass.
I think they're just scared.
Yeah, so was Andrew. Did you see how fuckin' fast he ran?
ANDREW: Oh, yeah, yeah.
And you were right behind me, fucker.
I don't know.
How come in real life the bad guys always win?
ANDREW: Well, you know, they do until they don't.
(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING SPANISH)
(GRUNTS)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
(CART RUMBLING)
Last night, hombre.
(MOOING)
(ZAPPING)
(♪ ♪)
Okay, Mike.
(♪ ♪)
(SHOUTS)
(♪ ♪)
...which all adds up to us believing
that next quarter will be the best time
to introduce a major new product.
And along those lines, um...
Don, you want to take it from here?
Yeah.
Um, well, as you all know, The Barbecue Big One's
been testing off the charts for months.
And I really feel like
the marketing department's nailed the campaign, Jack.
So, it's obviously time for the big launch.
And... we couldn't be more ready to go.
(PERCUSSIVE ELECTRONICA PLAYING)
(♪ ♪)
(SLOW ELECTRONICA PLAYING)
(♪ ♪)